I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
