I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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