This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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