the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
