My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my poor anus
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
