so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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