I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need to sanitize my soul.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
