No, you can still breathe under the balls.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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