Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
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About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
and you fell through a lawn chair
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