i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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