Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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