What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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