we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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