Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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