did you get engaged???
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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