I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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