You work out of a Hotel?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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