BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This house was built for laser tag.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
