So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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