o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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