Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize