Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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