you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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