its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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