Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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