there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
