at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
