Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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