Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
