Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
