my mouth tastes like poor choices
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
