How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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