Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
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His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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