Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
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I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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