so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
