Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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