even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
