I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
