I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
