What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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