At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
