Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
