Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize