I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
