I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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