Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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