Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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