There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize