Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
