You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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