then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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