my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize