Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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