Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize