singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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