A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
