Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he thought i was a dude.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
