mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
