When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you had me at cake vodka
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
